partybarackisinthehousetonight:
show a man tumblr and he will laugh for a second. teach a man to use tumblr and watch him spiral into insanity
I’m SO IMPRESSED omg
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
I love my boyfriend <3
I love my girlfriendremember to wear protection
wtf dad
Wtf mr president
omg lol busted
Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful.
you can go fuck yourself
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
everybody wants morgan freeman to narrate their life but I want five sassy singing lady muses
